Return Of The Mac

After an extensive "vacation" I am now back on track. I promise to never take that long of a hiatus again. Unless however I end up taking that well intentioned trip to Tibet and relinquish all of my worldly valuables. So, unfortunately I am without the good company of my accomplice abnormal_anomaly (just for now). But don't you worry, I'll (we'll) be back to old tricks in no time. Stay tuned for some more satirical, Dariaisms. =D

The Idiocy Of Bill O'Reilly

So, on his show Bill O'Reilly stated that the rap artist 50 cent was a "pinhead" [yes that statement is verbatim.] because half dollar there stated that if/when? Barrack Obama won the presidency, he would be shot. Now let me get this straight Bill, not that I am a supporter or fan of 50, but his statement is not off track and he is not off his rocker when you consider this. The last two presidents to be assassinated were White males, however they were White males who happened to support the rights of minorities. For example Blacks, Latinos, Women, etc. What exactly do you think would happen if one of the people whose rights was being fought for by either of these men decided to run for a political office of that prestige? Do you think they would have any better of a chance than the men who fought for them and were assassinated? Not really logical, now is it. Sorry, my man half dollar actually has a point.

Have You Cleaned Your Colon Today?

"Excuse me miss...Has anyone ever told you to get your colon cleaned?" This is the type of thing I'm bombarded with when I'm just minding my business on the subway. Unfortunately, (for the salesman) I told him that no one had ever told me this wise knowledge. I also explained to him that I (along with others maybe?) might not feel that comfortable divulging into our daily bowel movements with other people...Much less a complete and total stranger. Wow, you gotta love the city.

Random Thought Of The Day

Why do people call soda "pop"? What is the madness behind this phenomenon. I don't know about you guys but I'm from NYC. And in NYC we refer to carbonated beverages as "soda." Not "pop." "Pop is an onomatopoeia. Not a soda...it's not a friggin' coke either! Geesh. Nuff' said.

The Crazy Ones

Here's to the crazy ones.
The misfits.
The rebels.
The troublemakers.
The round pegs in the square holes.
The ones who see things differently.
They're not fond of rules.
And they have no respect for the status quo.
You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them.
About the only thing you can't do is ignore them.
Because they change things.
They push the human race forward.
And while some may see them as the crazy ones,
we see genius.
Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.

-Anonymous (072703 0252am)

Random Thought Of The Day

Do I shave?! No, it’s tedious. Especially in the winter. So what! I’m a hippie. I don’t care! I will not be forced to shave just because it’s something that’s the norm. Guys don't shave (most don't anyway) so why the hell should I?! I like my hairy legs. It gives my body character. And I refuse to take that away. So there. :-P

Random Thought Of The Day

Amid all the hoopla around President Dubba right now (when is he not doing something idiotic?). And his new "threat" to Democrats...("I will find a way to fund this war!") it's interesting that my Backwards Bush countdown clock (from backwardsbush.com) now says "Days Left in Office: 666 days..." Ha, if that's not a sign, I don't know what is.

Go Hillary!

Soul For Sale

It's a bit disturbing how our society is today and what we value most. The old adage goes "Money is the root of all evil." More accurately...the love of money is the root of all evil. In almost every scandal we can look back on...it was the love of it that drove people to do reprehensible things. Money and material possessions it seems are tearing at the very fiber of our beings. The drive for it, the greed for it, the want of it. At times it prevents us from seeing what is really important in life. It's not money. It's not getting it, having it, and keeping it. It's about life. Inanimate objects aren't going anywhere. They will eventually dissolve, like salt to water. We on the other hand are a little different. We might have a shot at something else. Something bigger. If we continue to search for happiness in things that only have temporary life, we're only applying a band-aid to a very deep wound. Instead, we should apply our energy, and direct our desires towards love, compassion, and such. Whatever your drug of choice may be. Things that metaphorically speaking, never die. We should stop selling our souls. If we don't, we'll have nothing left.

(Art courtesy of Awry Alky)

Huge epiphany...

Only a few times in my life has this happened to me. I reach a point in my thoughts where it hits me...I'm alive. I know it sounds crazy, but, here I am. Here I am existing, capable of thoughts and actions that I control. I am a breathing, living, life. I look around, and even though things are crazy at times, I'm grateful. I'm grateful for what I have. I have a family that loves me dearly. I have friends that care about me. As I look around myself, my wants and needs surround me. Some people want more. But...I realize through all of this, that what I have will suffice. I have more than most. I am not starving for anything, I am full. I am thankful for what I have. I am thankful for my life...for this very opportunity to be here. I am thankful to experience all of this. And that's when it hit me. I am thankful for life. No wonder that regardless of what religion or dogma people hold, there is this general belief in an afterlife. Who would blame them? Who would want this to end? I wouldn't. And just maybe I am greedy for one thing. I am greedy to experience more of it. I want more card games with my grandma. I want more afternoons in the park with my cousin. I want more talks with my friends on a Friday night on top of a starlit roof overlooking the city. I want to learn more. To travel more. I want to play more. I want to work more. I want to care more. I want to kiss more. To hug more. To laugh more. I want to grow more. I want more of life. I want to live more.

Not an angry rant, but a good rant.

How Ironic...

President Lyndon B. Johnson once had a reputation for calling on military agencies and demanding special services. The following conversation took place when he called to the Marine Basic School in Quantico, VA:

"Good morning, The Basic School, how may I help you?"

LBJ: "This is President Johnson. We're hosting a formal get-together at the White House tomorrow night, and I need two lieutenants, tall and good-looking, to serve as escorts for my daughters, and they need to be there at six o'clock, you got that?"

"Yes, sir. Two lieutenants, tall and good-looking, six o'clock, sir."

LBJ: "And no damn Mexicans!" (Remember, he was a southerner and a Texan and this was the 60's...)

"Right, sir. No damn Mexicans."

The next night, at six o'clock, Mrs. Johnson answered the knock at the door, and sure enough, there were two tall, good-looking Marine lieutenants standing there.

"We're here to escort your daughters, ma'am."

"But you're both black. There must be some mistake."

"No, ma'am," one of the lieutenants spoke up, "Captain Rodriguez never makes mistakes."

The Pain Of Letting Go...

Have you ever noticed how the world is always changing? It's inevitable. The places you go, to the people you meet, become the places you've been and the people you knew. Not just in the grammatical past tense...but really have you ever really though about it?


Do you realize, that everyone, you know, someday, will die. And instead of saying all of your goodbyes, let them know you realize that time goes fast. It's hard to make the good things last. You realize the sun doesn't go down, it's just an illusion caused by the world...spinning 'round...
Flaming Lips - Do You Realize

Quiznos Incident

It was about that time of day for me to have lunch at 2:12, which was just about perfect timing for my 2:19 train to Port Wash., L.I. So I guess it was important for me to rush or something. So I run up to the counter, where no one is standing at that point. In my frantic routine I pause, and notice this elderly woman (around 40's or so, :-D) standing to the side of the counter. She glares at me , so I find the only polite thing to do is to glare back. This glaring contest continues for a bit longer, neither of us saying anything.
According to the unwritten rule book of glaring, the first person who glares should say something. I even gave her that look that said "If you're going to say something you should maybe say it sometime today?" But she didn't, so I continued: "6-inch turkey on white bread, hold the mayo, and the mustard..." Then all of a sudden: "I was here first...did you not see me standing here??" she utters out of nowhere with the sandwich-maker-girl already half-way through my sandwich. "Of course I saw you standing there, you were staring at me for a good ten minutes, you moron." Okay, so I didn't really say that, but I sure as hell wanted to. How was I supposed to know that, I thought we arrived there at the same time. And she didn't make it clear that she was there first beforehand. Unless telepathic communication is pretty straightforward. So my wise yet simple words were: "Oh, I didn't know that..." She just continued to look at me in absolute horror. As if I had committed some social faux pas, like tripping up some blind homeless guy and taking change out of his cup. Now that's some &#?%ed up $#!@. But I didn't do that, I was simply looking out for me. Something I haven't been doing lately. Ten to one, she's some ditsy tourist taking her time through the day to admire the city. Even after I left, she was still contemplating what she wanted. I had 7, (yes 7!) minutes to get lunch and catch my train. Time is money, money is time. Then the sandwich-maker-girl got the brunt of my frustration, I must have told her about 5 times that I just wanted turkey and nothing else. It was so difficult for her to grasp that concept that she felt she would be more secure in her sandwich-making skills if she asked me a couple more times after that.

So I probably startled some small town woman, who is used to knowing everyone's name in the sandwich shops in her neck of the woods. This is not that place, this is the Big Apple, move it or lose it. I probably would have skipped her anyway, I was running late. I probably would have pushed her out of my way in the daily frenzy we call rush hour as well. Maybe I would have gone as far as trip her if she had a cane and were blind. Or taken her money out of her cup if she was homeless. After all the New York Times is more important than that damn change cup. Moral of the story? If someone skips you in line, be vocal about it. Right there and then, not 5 years from now. Like the MTA slogan goes "If you see something, say something!"

After all of this, I still managed to miss the 2:19 train. Life's great.

Random Thought Of The Day

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle? I mean, it sticks to other things outside the bottle. And if you use "contact with air" as a reason why glue sticks...isn't air inside the bottle as well? Seriously...why doesn't it stick? How does it do that?!

P.S. G-d I need sleep.

Once More With Feeling...

We fight the good fight!...And We Fight To Win!!!

I'm back working at the Fund. It's pretty much something I can't escape. I'll probably end up returning to work there every summer for the rest of my natural life. G-d, I love it! Thousand Dollar Thursdays, here we come.

P.S. To Gwen: Jesus f*!#ing rocks!

Proctologist

I never understood why people go into certain professions and specialities. It may sound like an ignorant statement but why are there male gynecologists? I just don't get why guys would want to look at beavers all day long. I don't want some guy looking down there as much as I want to look at his endowments (Ha, endowments...funny.) And don't think I'm just saying that guys are perverted, because I don't get why there are women who are andrologists either. Although, there are way more male gynecologists than there are female andrologists. It's also really weird to want to look at assholes all day.

"Let's see I'm in my 7th year of med school and it's time for me to pick a special field...well...I've always had that anal fetish..."

Just my random thought of the day.

Ari W.

Die Teddy Die!

What ever happened to compassion? Not too long ago I was at the Astor Place train station on the east side of Manhattan (around the vicinity of NYU). I noticed an elderly woman (around 40 or so). As we're walking down the stairs she begins to trip, and falls down the stairs descending into hell and lands flat on her face. The reaction from the onlookers...wait...there were no onlookers because her fall hardly drew a response from anyone. That's right! I remember now. Everyone just kind of stepped over her and continued in the frenzy we know as rush hour. I'll repeat that again in case you didn't catch it. THEY STEPPED OVER HER. And those who didn't step over her, zigzagged their way around her. After all, the train was coming! It's not like another train would have come to the station in another five minutes. About myself and two other people actually extended themselves to help her and ask her if she was alright. Apparently, something was wrong with us. Shouldn't we have been in a rush to get home...after all it was a new york city rush hour. Oh what the hell, Die Teddy Die!

Ari W.

Launch Of "A/S/L?"

So, abnormalanomaly and I had so much fun with the making of the previous blog entry...that we've decided to make an independent blog completely dedicated to making fun of stupid people.
It's still being tweaked.

Enjoy!

http://atrocioussinglelosers.blogspot.com/

Atrocious/Single/Losers, because every idiot deserves a chance.

Sexy Bitch! C'mere Grandma!

"It is real...in my sick and twisted mind it is." - AbnormalAnomaly

Romance--->Adult--->Married But Looking yahoo! chat

weinberg: hey sexy! ;)
jay_bean: how u doing
jay_bean: asl please
weinberg: good and you?
jay_bean: doing good
weinberg: 61/f/CA
weinberg: u?
jay_bean: 61
jay_bean: 25
jay_bean: here
weinberg: so...do you like older women?
weinberg: I don't look my age
jay_bean: sorry
weinberg: c'mon, I'm a sexy bitch
weinberg: really I am
jay_bean: hmm..
weinberg: *rubbing bengay up and down my legs* c'mon baby!

screenames have been altered to protect the stupid.